Where did I put my tinfoil hat?

Oh, oh, oh the Turd Furguson Collective is up to spewing conspiracy theories again. It has made for morning reading which teeters precariously between kind of funny and sadly paranoid.

Never in all my years on the Internet have I seen a group of people more dedicated to discussing the goings on of one individual. TFC and all your members, do you not realize that every time you post or comment on something that Kate has written, done or that you think she's done that it raises her visibility as an Internet personality even higher than it already is?

If you really wanted her to fade into obscurity a far better approach would be to just shut the fuck up about her, quit trolling her blog, quit posting commentary about her every move online.

You only make yourselves look more obsessed, unbalanced and as if none of you has a life outside of the Internet every time you proffer your baseless thoughts about her.

Do you not realize that you're playing right into her hands and feeding her ego?

You complain about Kate Kotler, yet do not realize that you (that's right, YOU) are the Dr. Frankenstein who has created the monster known as Kate Kotler.

Let me make one thing abundantly clear to you: I am absolutely not Kate Kotler.

I am, however, someone who knows Kate Kotler, Bonnie Bowes and Ben Acevedo quite well. And, I watched all the stupid roommate drama play out with Bonnie and Kate last spring. I listened to them both bitch about each other and have stayed silent all these months about my opinion of the situation.

Here's my assessment: All three of you are fucked in the head. Ben, you especially, because you inserted yourself into a situation between two former friends just to stir the pot and gain favor with Bonnie, who isn't that crazy about you in the first place.

The saddest thing about this whole situation is that when Bonnie and Kate put their intellectual prowess together and to good use a lot of really funny, really fun, really INTERESTING things happen.

I'm still waiting for them to kiss and make up so that I can see their two person Hamlet.

I still want them to show up at Chicken John's loft and protest "what," "because" and "now."

I've always thought that Bonnie had a screw loose in her head. I used to think that perhaps Kate was a little more grounded and well balanced, but the PPL H8 blog and her absolutely losing her shit at Bonnie saying nasty things has proven her to be as unbalanced as Bonnie.

Frankly, they are a match made in heaven.

Point: TFC and PPL H8 Me On the Internet need to both go away. Now.

Kate, don't put me on your blogroll - delete your blog if you really want to impress me.
Bonnie and Ben - you, too. Delete the TFC.
People commenting on both - go back to where you came from and find something and someone new to obsess about.

Restore order to the world. Break and go to your respective corners. Shut up, move on. Everyone is sick to death of this triangle of drama.

Immitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Within an hour of starting this blog, there was a comment posted on the profile of one of our main suspects that claimed that a blog called The Burn List was the original poster of this content.

That's just untrue, folks. The Burn List is a fail word for word copy of what I wrote on this blog this morning. I decided to start this blog after reading one of Bonnie Bowes' incoherent diatribes against Kate Kotler, then read a blog post by Kate Kotler whining about people H8ing her. I decided that enough was enough and someone had to say something to these two fucked up bitches. And, to the limp dick Mr. Acevedo, too.

They all need to shut the fuck up about this stupid shit. Bonnie and Ben need to get the fuck off the Internet. Kate needs to focus on what she's actually good at.

I suspect that one of the three have started the fail copy to try to PWN me at my own game. Not going to happen, geniuses. I bet they think they are really smort by monkeying with the date in their WP blog so that it looks like those posts were created on 9/1/09.

But it is a lie.

Readers of this blog: I am the orginal BURN, do not accept substitutes.

Suspect #3

Real Name: Kate Kotler
Aliases: Adorkable Grrl, DIY Diva, RetroBangs73, Sadistic Kate K.
Homebase: h8kateontehinnerwebs.wordpress.com
katekotler.com
bitchbuzz.com
brokeassstuart.com
Why We Hate Her:
While Kate is a pretty good writer who is experiencing some moderate success, she is absolutely a drama queen who takes the Internet way too seriously.

She spends way too much time worrying what other people think of her and fighting online battles which, even if she is in the right, she is doomed to lose.

We here at Burn Book wish she'd just STFU, stop starting blogs to provoke people and focus on her career. We'd much rather read her posts about crafts, Doctor Who and her upcoming book than even a single post more on PPL H8 Me On the Internet.

Seriously Kate, please just stop.

Suspect #2

Real Name: Benjamin Acevedo
Aliases: Turd Ferguson
Home Base: theturdfergusoncollective.wordpress.com
Why We Hate Him:
Basically, Benjamin is the sockpuppet of Bonnie Bowes and is incapable of thinking for himself.

He's not funny, he's not smart, he's not employed. He, too, is guilty of many of the unflattering behaviors that he and Bonnie accuse Kate Kotler of: being lame, being unemployed, going out with unsuitable people just so he won't be alone when he dies.

Ben needs to get a life, stand up to his girlfriend and focus his attentions on things other than writing bullshit on the Internet in attempts to piss off a writer whom his girlfriend doesn't like.

Let Bonnie fight her own battles, Ben.

Suspect #1

Real Name: Bonnie Bowes
Aliases: Kat, Anna Moss
Home Base: theturdfergusoncollective.wordpress.com
Why We Hate Her:
Bonnie is a hypocrite who started a blog to bitch about how much she hates her former best friend and roommate, blogger Kate Kotler.

The reason she is a hypocrite is because Bonnie Bowes is guilty of ALL of the things that she accuses Kate Kotler of being: a druggie, a drama queen, an attention whore, a liar and a shit starter.

The TFC blog is a lame version of Mean Girls. Bonnie and her sockpuppet boyfriend, Ben, are incapable of talking about anything other than Kate Kotler.

Her post on why people should boycott Whole Foods was a major YAWN and the readers of the TFC begged Bonnie to go back to talking about Kate, because at least that was interesting to read.

It's clear to us here at Burn Book that Bonnie is obsessed with the life of a former friend who is more sucessful than she is. We wish that she'd focus on her administrative assistant job or her cat sitting job instead of starting shit with someone online.

Bonnie has been in San Francisco for four years and has left a wake of former friends in her path. She is regarded as a hot mess by most of those people. If you see her, run in the opposite direction, this is a viper best left in the nest.

Someone needs to take this girl's computer away.